As a stylist and someone I believe is easy going- I have women that will walk up to me and tell me how gorgeous my locs are. Before I can say "Thank You"- I will hear in hesitation; I wish I could do that. Looking in confusion I said quickly- " Why not". One lady said because her job, husband and other family members would not approve HER hair choice and why they would not, what they would say and how she would feel . In that very moment I can honestly say I felt a sense of sadness for her as I listened. I told her that I did not have the support I would have liked from certain people four years prior either when I loc'd my hair. I reassured her if it was something she really considered- she had me as support AND I gave her a few "tips" or overcoming objections I had in the beginning of my journey. These tips helped me to enjoy the journey a little bit better AND acceptance from the people in my tribe who didn't approve.
Now to be clear.- I wasn't looking for their acceptance- it was for them to finally accept that this is my new journey. This was not a temporary phase.
Being in this journey for several years- I've had this experience and outlook on my life as a whole. No longer being a people pleaser, create those healthy boundaries and accept all of ME in this journey, called LIFE. We can not and never will please everyone- but what we can do is be so in love with self- sis/sir I mean allllll of you- Good, Bad even the Ugly; this will be your main focus. As I look at it- when you do keep it a buck and be real with yourself- no one else's opinion should phase you to the point of no return. You will unapologetically walk, speak and show up as your authentic self with grace.
I am sure you are like- GIRL, what does this has to do with hair-locs. Well for me it has alot to do with my hair transition. It was such a freely act for me to loc my hair and wear in its nappiest form ( HAPPY TO BE NAPPY") while still being seen as Professional, Knowledgeable, Smart, Pretty- to name a few.
So just think about this for a moment did you have a time where you did not feel like "What if they are not happy for me"? What was your answer and execution to move forward? I would love to hear or read about it.
I am happy to say that as much as strangers have embraced my flowy (almost to my booty- AYEEEEEEE ) locs so has my tribe- and for that I can really walk with my crown held even higher now. This journey was one of the main reasons I decided self-publish a self love and hair journal: CLICK HERE to order
My Locs around 6 months old- 2018
My locs Spring of 2022
Here are a few steps I took during this- This can help in just about any situation:
Shared my idea with research, pics and examples of what my hair may (BIG MAY) look like during this journey.
I took so many pictures once I officially loc'd- even the not so good looking pictures. Now I can really see process and progress I have made.
Quickly learned that there isn't anything wrong with being inspired BUT HOWEVER never compare myself and my hair to someone else
Be opened to answering multiple questions (over and over) about what are you doing, why do you want to do this, how does it benefit you and how long will this phase last- correct them as well when needed- but in a nice way.
Last but not least- REMEMBER YOU ARE UNAPOLOGETICALLY N.A.P.P.Y
You Are Beautiful
Love your whole self